For a variety of reasons, I have a large network of friends on Facebook, including some people that I’ve never actually met in person, and others I haven’t seen in years.
Still, although we don’t always communicate directly, I feel like I know them all.
Over time, through my random encounters with their status updates, their lives take on a coherent form, one that has an actual presence in my life. In a very passive way– not entirely unlike absorbing the ambient gossip at the local corner store– I find out who is going through a tough time or training for a race, or who might be falling in love or looking forward to a walk in the sun.
However, more important that the particulars of a life, is the general point of view, the general disposition toward the world, that each person unwittingly reveals. Although you don’t find out how people interact with the world, you do find out how they interpret the world around them. In a weirdly sincere and poetic way, you discover character.
Some people are habitually angry, always pissed off at the government or the forces that caused the hot water heater to break. Other people reveal themselves frustrated and tired, exhausted by the demands of their children, while others, the vast majority, express gratitude and optimism for the small pleasures of the day.
Sam thanks everybody for the generous birthday wishes.
Lucy thinks life is pretty sweet when you can sit outside in the sun drinking coffee with a friend.
Benedict is wondering what it means when a small dog stashes all her kibble in a slipper.
Christine is enjoying CBC radio and the smell of soup on the stove while she does some administrative paperwork—all is good.
I’ve always taken great solace in these people, and have grown very fond of their quiet and benevolent presence. When I see their avatar pop up, I feel like they’re quietly sitting in the room with me, and I get the same comfort from them that I would get from seeing a familiar neighbour out, once again, raking the leaves.
Michael Murray also blogs at: http://www.michaelmurray.ca/blog/
Tags: Literature, Michael Murray, Tech
November 18th, 2009 at 8:14 am
What a great perspective of Facebook. Me too I feel like I know a lot of my contacts intimately. I find that the character that is exposed also affects my life so periodically when I am worn by a constant angry/negative one that adds to info coming form others sources like the news I start to remove from friends.
Life is good and we can build it that way.
Thanks for your article.
November 18th, 2009 at 11:20 am
*Like*
November 21st, 2009 at 9:10 pm
Yes, it really is a subtle thing – how the updates of our peers/friends can change our own mood. If we strive to reach out to those contacts, we can become active in changing the situation as well. It’s such a valid point when you say: “Life is good and we can build it that way.”
We appreciate your response.